Brown mummies are mean

Conversations I never thought I would have in my lifetime.


Kendi: Mama

Me: Mhm?

Kendi: I wish I had another mummy

Me: ( I turn down the car radio so quickly, I almost crash) What kind of mummy?

Kendi: A white mummy

Me: Oh?

Kendi: Yeah

Me: Why?

Kendi: Because white mummies don’t punish you when you make a small mistake

Me: Really?

Kendi: Yes

Me: How do you know this?

Kendi: I just know it

Me: OK, but how do you know it msichana? How do you know that white mummies don’t punish their children

Kendi: I saw a white mummy

Me: Where?

Kendi: At home

Me: Where? Outside?

Kendi: Yeah

Keyo: Mama….

Me: Keyo, wait a little (I am literally now driving with my eyes glued to the rear view mirror. I want to have this conversation so badly) Kendi…

Kendi: Yeah?

Me: What happened with the white mummy?

Kendi: The child did something bad and she didn’t punish him

Me: What did the child do?

Kendi: He hit someone

Me: And then what happened?

Kendi: Then the mummy just spoke softly to him and said, ‘that’s not right, go say sorry’

Me: And did he?

Kendi: Yes

Me: Ah OK….. So you don’t want me as your mummy anymore?

Kendi: No, I wish I could have 2 mummies and 2 daddies

Me: Eh?

Kendi: Yeah. I want 1 white mummy and 1 white daddy. And 1 brown mummy and 1 brown daddy

Me: But why? Why not just have the white mummy and the white daddy

Kendi: And then you would go away?

Me: Yes

Keyo: Go where mama?

Me: Keyo, just a minute please bunny

Kendi: No mama, I want you both

Me: But why? If I’m mean to you, why keep me?

Kendi: Because I love you…


If you even need context…

I had just told Kendi that she wouldn’t be getting any screen time today, as a discipline measure for disobedience. She cried and then started to negotiate.

She wanted to know if it was possible to have the screen time but get a spanking instead- Sure. She asked how many times I would hit her- Two. With a slipper or with my hand- Slipper. Where- On her legs. Could I pinch her instead- No. Could she sit in the living room during TV time (Keyo’s) instead of alone in her room- No. Could I only hit her once- No, the behavior warranted two. Could I just forgive her- I already did. Then why did I still have to punish her- Because that was the way it went.


Me: Kendi, you only saw 1 white mummy with 1 child. Not all white mummies are the same. Just the way not all brown mummies are the same

Kendi: OK

Me: I love you too

Kendi: OK

Keyo: I love you too mama

Me: I love you too bunny

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