Conversations I never thought I would have in my lifetime.
Kendi: I wish I had another mummy
Me: ( I turn down the car radio so quickly, I almost crash) What kind of mummy?
Kendi: A white mummy
Kendi: Because white mummies don’t punish you when you make a small mistake
Me: How do you know this?
Kendi: I just know it
Me: OK, but how do you know it msichana? How do you know that white mummies don’t punish their children
Kendi: I saw a white mummy
Kendi: At home
Me: Where? Outside?
Me: Keyo, wait a little (I am literally now driving with my eyes glued to the rear view mirror. I want to have this conversation so badly) Kendi…
Me: What happened with the white mummy?
Kendi: The child did something bad and she didn’t punish him
Me: What did the child do?
Kendi: He hit someone
Me: And then what happened?
Kendi: Then the mummy just spoke softly to him and said, ‘that’s not right, go say sorry’
Me: And did he?
Me: Ah OK….. So you don’t want me as your mummy anymore?
Kendi: No, I wish I could have 2 mummies and 2 daddies
Kendi: Yeah. I want 1 white mummy and 1 white daddy. And 1 brown mummy and 1 brown daddy
Me: But why? Why not just have the white mummy and the white daddy
Kendi: And then you would go away?
Keyo: Go where mama?
Me: Keyo, just a minute please bunny
Kendi: No mama, I want you both
Me: But why? If I’m mean to you, why keep me?
Kendi: Because I love you…
If you even need context…
I had just told Kendi that she wouldn’t be getting any screen time today, as a discipline measure for disobedience. She cried and then started to negotiate.
She wanted to know if it was possible to have the screen time but get a spanking instead- Sure. She asked how many times I would hit her- Two. With a slipper or with my hand- Slipper. Where- On her legs. Could I pinch her instead- No. Could she sit in the living room during TV time (Keyo’s) instead of alone in her room- No. Could I only hit her once- No, the behavior warranted two. Could I just forgive her- I already did. Then why did I still have to punish her- Because that was the way it went.
Me: Kendi, you only saw 1 white mummy with 1 child. Not all white mummies are the same. Just the way not all brown mummies are the same
Me: I love you too
Keyo: I love you too mama
Me: I love you too bunny