Baba is MY husband!

FOREWORD: I am a believer and follower of the Christian faith. I teach my children according to what I believe is true about Jesus and His teachings- Love, Respect, Justice and Peace.

NOTE: Kendi’s words are in bold. The whole conversation took place in English.

(Kendi and I are driving down Waiyaki Way on our way to her school)

Mama, you are Baba’s wife?

Yes, and he’s my husband

Because you are married?


What is marriage?

(I turn down the radio)

It is when two people love each other very much, so, they go and pray and ask God to help them to love each other and be together forever

And then you kiss at the wedding?


Ok (pause) I will marry Keyo

No Kendi, you can’t marry your brother

Ok (another pause) I will marry Baba

(I laugh, because surely!) No sweetness, you can’t marry Baba. You can’t marry your family (With this last statement, I have cut out many potential husbands and I am certain that we’re in the clear)

But you are married to Baba and he’s your family….

Oh my goodness

Its true

OK msichana (girl), Baba was not my family before. I made him my family by marrying him

OK mama, then I’ll marry Hayley (her friend in school)

No honey, you can marry a boy

Uuuurrrrmmmm, OK, (thinking intensely) I’ll marry uncle Timo. Because he’s a boy and he’s not my family

(Timo is my sister’s boyfriend. I laugh and think ‘Mich, move over’. Also, clearly age is just a number to Kendi!)

OK baby, you can marry uncle Timo, that’s fine. Do you want to call and tell him?


But then how will he know that you want to marry him?

I don’t want to tell him


Its a secret

OK honey

(We ride along in brief silence. I put the music back up thinking that’s the end of that)

But Mama, I really want to marry Keyo

(Music back down)

Nope, you can’t marry your brother. He’s your family

But I can still kiss him?

Yes, of course

And I can kiss Baba?


OK fine, then let me marry Baba

No, Kendi…

Wait mama, when I’m big. When I’m 90 years old, I’ll marry Baba

No, you won’t. Baba is my husband. You have to marry someone else who is not already married. You can’t marry your family

But you married him!

Kendi, please, he wasn’t my family before. He was uncle Karl’s and Tata Winnie’s family. Not mine. I just met him in school and then married him

How did you know his name?

He told me

How did you remember?

I was in school with him every day, so I remembered his name

Please mama, the both of us can marry him

No thanks msichana. Marry someone else who isn’t already married. (We’ve reached her school now) Bye, have fun in school

(Sulking) Ok. Bye.

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